We look at problems and solutions by focusing on how all the parts of a system interact, not just on the individual pieces. In plain English: It’s about seeing the big picture — how people, behaviors, and relationships influence each other — rather than blaming or isolating one person or thing.For example, in couples therapy, a systemic approach doesn’t ask, “Who’s at fault?”Instead, it asks, “What’s happening between you two that keeps this pattern going?”
Everyone’s behavior makes sense in the context of the system (the relationship, family, or group). Change happens when the system’s patterns change — not just when one person “fixes themselves. A ”Systemic perspective” is basically about understanding connections, patterns, and feedback loops that keep a situation stuck or help it shift.
The Gottmans are a big deal in couples therapy because they transformed it from guesswork into science. John Gottman’s 40+ years of research observing thousands of couples produced data-driven insights that can predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. Together with Julie Gottman, they identified the “Four Horsemen” (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling) and developed practical tools like Love Maps and rituals of connection to help couples build trust and intimacy. By combining research, emotional attunement, and accessible language, they created one of the most evidence-based and widely respected approaches in relationship therapy today.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a big deal because it gets to the root of why couples disconnect—unmet attachment needs and emotional safety, not just poor communication. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is grounded in attachment theory and backed by solid research showing about a 70–75% success rate in helping couples move from distress to secure, lasting bonds. Instead of teaching skills or analyzing conflict, EFT helps partners uncover and share their deeper emotions (like fear, longing, or shame) in a way that fosters empathy and closeness. It’s powerful because it doesn’t just stop fights—it transforms the emotional patterns underneath them, creating real, sustainable connection.
Unlock a clear path to relationship improvement, tailored to your unique needs and goals
The initial consultation is a crucial step in the process ensuring that the services are appropriate, effective, and tailored to the couple or individual client’s needs. Here are the things we’ll strive to accomplish during our initial time together: Assessing Compatibility, Understanding Client Needs, Setting Expectations, Determining Suitability for Services, Building Rapport, Clarifying Client History and Context, Identifying Immediate Concerns, Explaining Confidentiality and Ethics, Assessing Risk Factors, Establishing Goals.
It’s important to approach any desired change systemically, when considering change of any kind. What aspects may support change and what might present challenges to achieving a desired outcome. In 2017, I became the first person ever (#0001) to earn the designation of Lifestyle Medicine Professional Practitioner from the American College of Lifestyle Medicine.