Michaela Conley, Systemic Relationship Specialist

When people imagine what therapists do, they may assume all therapy is created equal. That isn’t true.  While therapists are often well versed in many subject matters, most pick one general population or specialty to focus on during their careers. Although there is some overlap, therapists who work with children don’t necessarily work with couples. Sex therapists are not always trauma experts.  Counselors who work with addictions may not focus on relationships or lifestyle changes.

Michaela Conley’s professional experience and education has led her to focus on couples therapy, sex therapy, trauma, sexual health and lifestyle medicine. Each area can be practiced independently by a therapist, but they all tie back to helping others in their relationships.

Primarily Trained as a Couples Therapist 

Michaela Conley practices as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist when meeting with couples. More specifically, she specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method for couples. Therapy can be effective in helping people understand themselves and their partners better. However, there are other important parts of a persons wellness that play into relationship satisfaction.

Relationships and Whole-Person Health 

For example, many clients come to counseling because they need help with sleep, stress, chronic disease, substance use, sex, trauma or other lifestyle factors. These issues can cause conflict in relationships or exacerbate problems that may have begun as disagreements about expectations or communication styles. To better serve clients, Michaela set out to become exceptionally qualified in her areas of interest. Not only is she a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Michaela is also a Certified Health Coach (CHC), Master Certified Health Education Specialist (MCHES) and was the first person ever (#00 001) to become a Diplomate in Lifestyle Medicine through the American College of Lifestyle Medicine. She also earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise Science and two master’s degrees – one in Wellness Management and another in Marriage and Family Therapy. Simply put: she is equipped to address you and your partners complexities around behavior change and how physical and mental health can impact relationships.

What is lifestyle medicine?  It focuses on how daily habits can help or worsen certain health conditions. Those pillars include sleep, movement, nutrition, stress management, positive connections and mindfulness with media/alcohol/substance consumption. All of these can directly impact relationships and/or sexual satisfaction.

Need More Proof?  Here are a Few Examples: 

• Sleep deprivation can cause low libido, patience and emotional availability.
• Stress can keep you feeling angry and “busy” which may lead to medical issues like infertility.
• Chronic conditions or pain can alter sexual expression, division of responsibilities and communication.
• Some prescription medications impact sexual function and libido.
• Alcohol and drugs harm relationships and sexual behavior/motivation.
• Partner A wants to make health changes but partner B doesn’t understand or support their effort.

Michaela can help you understand how those factors play into the relationships without making your initial concern (i.e. communication) feel pathological or invalid.  As your therapist, she can help you identify how the entire system is affecting your union and treat you accordingly within her scope of practice as a MFT.

Continuing Education in Sex Therapy 

Sex therapy is another layer to Michaela’s competence in sexual wellness. She is currently working toward her certificate in Sex Therapy through the University of Michigan. Upon completion, she will be eligible to become a Certified Sexual Health Therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). While she won’t be certified until her training is complete, Michaela can already help with the following:

• Sexual desire/arousal differences between partners 
• Feeling emotionally and/or physically disconnected 
• Communication problems related to sex, boundaries or individual desires
• Sex pain or difficulties with penetration 
• Performance anxiety or pressure 
• Sexual issues due to aging, menopause, chronic conditions, etc.
• Sex-related shame, negative body image or harmful religious teachings about sex
• Treating sexual concerns after infidelity or trauma 
• Sexual communication in LGBTQIA+ relationships and identities 
• Consensual nonmonogamy, kink, and BDSM relationships 
• Impact of medications, stress, sleep deprivation, and substance use on sexual functioning and desire

Sexual concerns often have nothing to do with sex. There can be underlying issues like attachment wounding, resentment, burnout from medical side effects, traumatic conditioning or fear of rejection. Additionally, being in a distressed relationship can make it hard to relax and become aroused or willing to be vulnerable. Michaela can provide a safe space to talk about any of the above while using her training to guide the conversation.

Experience with Trauma/PTSD and Ketamine /Psilocybin Therapy 

In addition to sex therapy, Michaela is trained in trauma informed therapy and alternative treatments. Michaela received her Certificate in Traumatic Stress Studies from the Trauma Research Foundation. Micheala is trained in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy through Ketamine Infinite Possibilities and receiving training to become a Certified Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist in Colorado through Fluence Clinical. While psilocybin is currently legal for therapeutic use in Colorado (and a few other states), ketamine assisted therapy is only legal in Arizona at this time. You can read more about her natural medicine certification in the section below. The intention here is to show clients that Michaela will continue to stay current on emerging treatments that show promise in helping clients heal from trauma and improve their quality of life.

Ketamine and psilocybin aren’t only used to treat trauma, but also depression, relationship distress and sexual dysfunction. Understanding the role that trauma and/or nervous-system responses can play in someone’s life will allow Michaela to treat the root cause of relationship challenges.

Bringing it all Together 

As you can see from the above, couples therapy, sex therapy, trauma, health coaching, lifestyle medicine and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy are all hot button topics. Topics that may seem completely different from each other. However, they all relate to one thing: you.

You have a body.  Some of you have chronic health conditions.  Many of you deal with stress, previous trauma or poor nervous system regulation. Relationships and sex are also important parts of your lives. Not only do all of these things exist in the same space, but they also affect each other.

Due to her background and continued education, Michaela is able to pay attention to the connection between:

• The love/bond between you and your partner 
• Conflict and injuries within your relationship 
• Sexual well-being, expression and identity 
• Past traumas and nervous system dysregulation 
• Daily habits that impact your mood, energy and physical health
• Your relationship with change or factors that prevent you from making lifestyle changes
• The backstory of a specific problem (trauma, PTSD, sexual dysfunction, etc.)

Recognizing these health areas exist for every client allows Michaela to see when they may be relevant to your concerns. It also allows her to address how those factors may psychologically and relationally impact you if they are involved.

Providing Therapy Through an Integrative Lens 

That is why Michaela’s background is unique.  Most therapists will only offer relationship counseling or sex therapy from a psychological standpoint without considering all of the information mentioned above. She thinks about how those topics might be affecting their relationship. Then she works with couples to improve communication, connection and healing with empathy and evidence-based treatment.