When Your Nervous System Has Had Too Much. An article written recently seems to identify many things: our shared experience and humanit. Recently, actress and advocate Jameela Jamil publicly shared that she experienced what she described as an “actual nervous breakdown” following prolonged stress, fear, hypervigilance, and emotional overwhelm after being physically attacked in public. Her story resonated with me because underneath the headlines it’s so deeply human: the experience of someones nervous system carrying too much for too long.
Many friends and clients share similar storeis of:
- snapping at the people they love
- feeling emotionally numb or disconnected and waking up exhausted
- feeling constantly “on edge” and struggling to concentrate
- losing interest in things they used to enjoy
- shutting down during conflict
- feeling big feelings around small problems
- struggling to feel emotionally present
Many tell themselves they are “failing,” “lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “not coping well enough,” when in reality their nervous system is overwhelmed. Explaining that I’m burned out or “losing it”. We are not designed to stay in fight or flight for more than the time it takes to get away from that tiger. When that panicky feeling becomes chronic, our nervous systems may begin to operate as though danger is everywhere as we’re just trying to hold everything together which may show up as hypervigilance, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, sleep disruption, irritability, panic and disconnection from ourselves and others.
Too Much for Too Long
One of the hardest parts is that chronic stress rarely stays contained inside one person. It often spills into relationships. You might be noticeing: more conflict, emotional withdrawal, feeling misunderstood, increased defensiveness, difficulty communicating, loss of intimacy and loneliness even while together. Many couples voice fear that their relationship is broken, when it might actually be that both partners are emotionally overloaded and no longer feel emotionally safe or connected.
This matters because healing is not simply about “trying harder” or forcing yourself to push through exhaustion. Nervous systems do not heal through shame, pressure, or self-criticism. Healing often begins with small managable steps such as learning how stress affects the body:
slowing down, increasing emotional safety, improving sleep and nutrition, reconnecting with the supportive people in our lives, creating healthier boundaries around self care, allowing emotions to be acknowledged instead of suppressed and finally, developing healthier ways to communicate and co-regulate in relationships.
Small, consistent moments of safety and connection matter more than perfection.
At Spot on Relationships, we work with individuals and couples navigating stress, disconnection, trauma, emotional overwhelm, and relationship strain using evidence-based approaches including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), sex therapy and the Gottman Method. Therapy is not about “fixing” broken people. Often, it is about helping people better understand themselves, their relationships, and the nervous systems that have been working overtime to help them survive.
If you see yourself in stories like this, you are not alone. You are not weak, failing, or broken. You may simply be exhausted from carrying too much for too long. Healing is possible.
